Where did MsPokerTn go... have you seen her?

I have played alot of poker in the last few weeks, either online, at a casino, or a home game.  I have not been happy with any of my results.  I have played limit, no-limit, and tournaments.  All the same results, not good.

So, where the hell am I.  I need to find MsPokerTN; the aggressive, confident, poker player that I once thought I was and I need to find her fast.

Last Wednesday we played event #11 of the home league and I was completely 100% on tilt.  I got on tilt for the simple fact that I was so card dead for the first hour or two and every time I tried to make a move someone would come over the top and there was no way I could continue the play.  This happened time after time after time and I wasn't happy about it.  At one point, I felt like Poker Brat, Phil Hellmuth, as I lost my cool when the BB accused me of not putting in my total SB.  I honestly felt like I had put my total SB out there and everyone was making change for their ante's.  Anyway, I ended up just mucking my hand with frustration.  Sorry for the outburst.  It's poker.  I eneded up going out in 7th place, horrible finish.  I am still the point leader, for now, but it's getting to close for comfort.  I have to make some adjustments and make them quickly. 

Last night I played in a 30 person $100 freeze out tournament at a hme game.  I only made one, maybe two real plays the entire night, which is completely disappointing.  I ended up going out with pocket J's against a AQ with a Q on the flop.  At this point in the game, I had $3500, blinds were $400/$800 so I had to make a move.  I did raise it pre-flop, got one caller, checked after the flop, he pushed me all in and I called. 

On the way home my mind was running 100 miles a minute thinking about what I did wrong.  The list would be shorter if I was thinking about what I did right.  Not much. 

I always felt like one reason why I was comfortable with my aggresive style was that I really didn't care about the money or the points per say for the home league.  Not to say the money doesn't matter but for example; if I'm playing in a $1/$2 NL game and I have $300 in front of me, I never thought "wow, if I can't push all in because I might lose $300".  I always play with what I can afford to play with.  I think lately I am thinking about the money, the points, all the crap that I shouldn't be thinking about.

I have to get my old self back and suit up with the style of poker I am comfortable and confident in playing.  I only have 8 months before the main event and I have to get it in order soon, before my chance to dance disappears right before my eyes. 

I have some tricks up my sleeve that I won't share here but watch out folks, the old MsPokerTN is about to emerge.

PEACE!